One of the most difficult experiences families have is watching a beloved elderly family member succumb to an illness.  At 80p and 90 years old, even a relatively minor illness such as a urinary tract infection or a simple cold can look frightening.  Old bodies simply do not handle the assault of illness very efficiently.  Add to the illness itself the extra stress of trips to a doctor, hospital or emergency room, fears of having to go to “a home” and worries about burdening their families and one has a recipe for extreme stress and worry.

Understanding that elderly bodies do not have the resilience of young ones is an important lesson.  Another growth opportunity comes with the realization that humans have been created to live a finite number of days.  Becoming comfortable with honoring the last days of one’s life as completely as one does the first can be a huge help at these times.  What we can learn  from our elders (by asking!) about their goals and desires is a major factor in peaceful constructive decision-making.  This knowledge forms the structure for our being able to support elder and family to make the most of these “late days.”

Palliative care is also known as “comfort care.”  It is different than “curative.”  It is NOT withholding care or treatment of symptoms that create discomfort.  Palliative care is all about making late life easier and more comfortable, allowing the energy and freedom to finish the business of living and loving.  It can be peaceful, providing moments of joy and gratitude.  The stressors that come from frustration and hopelessness are lessened.  Life can be lived fully again in preparation for ending well.  It is something for all of us to seriously consider for ourselves and our loved ones.